Finding True Positivity: Embracing Reality, Resilience, and the Little Things

The other day, I was doing one of my relaxation techniques, which involves looking up places on Airbnb that I can’t afford and pretending I’m there. Yes, it sounds a bit sad, but hope and dreaming are an important part of who I am. So, I stumbled across a section that featured places like the Home Alone house for the holidays. I instantly felt like I was there and wanted to be there. The thought of being in that home automatically relaxed me, which is quite strange considering a large portion of the film is about a kid trying not to get hurt by scary criminals. I wondered, what is it that makes me feel so positive? Well, I guess it’s the simpler times. I wouldn’t say I’m big on nostalgia, but there’s something about 80s and 90s films that helps quiet my mind.

We are in a time where the constant push for positivity has taken a wrong turn into what’s known as toxic optimism. Creating a healthy and authentic approach to positive thinking has never been more important. Self-help is definitely not new, but it may have taken on an overly sweet and superficial tone. My hope is to find a genuine path to resilience—one that embraces the complexity of the human experience without resorting to denial or constantly proclaiming how “blessed” you are.

True positivity starts with accepting reality. The pressure to smile, regardless of circumstances, will never be healthy. Life is about recognizing and confronting challenges. Embracing reality means, first, acknowledging the difficulties that exist and then using those difficulties to learn and grow. Adversity is one of life’s greatest teachers. If you make it past the pain, the other side is that much more beautiful because of it. Authentic positive thinking does not shy away from the shadows; it uses them to highlight the light.

Once resilience comes into our lives, gratitude often follows. Not the kind of gratitude where someone tries to flaunt their perceived “success” in the faces of their unsuspecting friends and families, but a quiet, reflective practice. It’s about shifting our focus away from negative, often all-consuming thought patterns to something more balanced and genuinely appreciative of the little things in life. Like today, when I saw our newer rescue dog finally give our pain-in-the-ass puppy the time of day. It was subtle, but oh so sweet. Daily gratitude practices, deeply personal and sincere, can help reframe our outlook in a way that is both realistic and hopeful.

When we’re aware of how we react and make choices that align with our values, we stay grounded, even when chaos surrounds us.

Self-awareness brings accountability. Staying true to who you are, and resisting the pressure to jump on the “we’re all the same” bandwagon, strengthens your sense of self. Our identity is everything… without it, we lose what makes us unique.